So the Rugby's On: A Yank's Survival Guide to Sports You Didn't Grow Up With

It happens to every American who walks through our doors for the first time. You come in expecting a quiet Guinness and maybe a highlight reel, and instead you find a room full of Brits, Aussies, and Irish expats screaming at a cricket match — a sport you have confidently described as "baseball but boring" at least once in your life, and about which you now realize you understood nothing.

Take a breath. Sit down. Order a pint. We've got you.

First Rule: Nobody Cares That You Don't Know the Rules

The biggest fear every first-timer has is embarrassment. Here's the truth: nobody at this pub expects you to understand a scrum, a maiden over, or why a draw is sometimes a celebrated result. The expat regulars are delighted to explain — at length, whether you asked them to or not. This is not a bug; it's how friendships start here.

What you should not do is loudly declare American football the superior sport within earshot of a Kiwi during an All Blacks match. We've seen it happen. We've seen the aftermath. Learn from the fallen.

Adopting a Second Team: The 48-Hour Rule

Every American regular at Paddy's eventually picks a second team. It usually happens like this: you watch one match, someone buys you a pint, and by the second game you have opinions. Strong ones. Irrationally strong ones, about players whose names you couldn't spell.

Our advice: don't overthink it. Pick a team the way you'd pick a fantasy football squad — someone you like, someone with a fun name, or whoever the person who bought you that first pint is rooting for. Loyalty is loyalty. One of our most devoted regulars, a retired teacher from Ohio, has been screaming for Munster in rugby for three years and can now explain the offside rule better than most Irishmen. She's also learned to say "up the Munster" with an accent that would get her a free pint in Limerick.

What to Shout (and What Will Get You Stared At)

Safe: "Come on!" — universal, works for every sport, every country, every decade.

Safe: "Ref, are you blind?!" — a global pub language, understood everywhere English is spoken.

Risky: "Touchdown!" — during a rugby try, technically wrong, but everyone will laugh because the try is kind of a touchdown and you're clearly trying.

Do not: Ask why the clock runs up instead of down. Everyone asks. Everyone gets the same groan.

Do not: Say "soccer." Just... don't. It's football here. You'll adjust. It's like learning to say "mate" — awkward for a week, permanent by the second.

The 3 A.M. Thing: Your New Weekend Tradition

Here's where Bali ruins you for American sports scheduling forever. Because we sit in a time zone where European matches air at civilized local hours, and where matches from back home air in the middle of the night, you'll experience a strange inversion: you'll be watching Irish rugby at a reasonable hour while your friends in Denver are asleep.

Then, one Saturday, a big NFL playoff game kicks off at 3 a.m. Bali time. And you'll go anyway. Because the pub's open, the Guinness is cold, and there's something profoundly magical about watching fourth-quarter football with a room full of Australians who now know what a "two-minute drill" is because you explained it to them over spring rolls. By sunrise, everyone's hoarse, someone's brought out breakfast, and you realize you've accidentally built a tradition.

The Cheat Sheet

• Rugby: No forward passes, no pads, and players get hit harder than NFL safeties with zero commercials to recover. Respect is mandatory.
• Cricket: It's long. Bring snacks. When the whole pub erupts at something you missed, erupt too — you'll figure it out.
• Gaelic football: A chaotic hybrid of soccer, rugby, and basketball that the Irish will tell you is "simple." It is not. It is, however, incredible.

The beauty of Paddy's isn't that we're an Irish pub in Bali. It's that on any given night, three continents' worth of sports arguments are happening over the same bar. Come join one. The first explanation is free.